Funny Skits About Packing a Suitcase
So God's getting ready to go on vaction...
And he's packing his bag and an angel comes up and asks, "So, where are you going to go for your vacation?" And God says, "Huh, not Earth again, last time I went there I got this Jewish girl pregnant and they haven't stopped talking about it since!'
Pedophile
Johns girlfriend comes running into the house, obviously upset, goes to the bedroom and starts packing her clothes.
John comes in and asks "Honey, what's going on?
She says"I'm leaving you!"
"Leaving me?! Why?!" John asks.
She replies "I just found out you are a pedophile"
John says "Pedophile? That's a big word for a 12 year old"
Redneck comes home to his girlfriend packing
she's gathering all her belongings and walking out the door. He says, "Honey, where ya going?!"
She says, "I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Everyone in town says you're a pedophile."
He replies, "*Pedophile*?! Well, that's a big word for a twelve-year-old."
So there is a man from Appalachia
And one weekend he leaves to go fishing with his friends. When he arrives home he finds his wife packing up all of her stuff.
He asked "What are yall doin?"
She replied "I'm leavin you!"
He looked confused and saddened and asked her why.
She told him "My friends say you're a pedophile!"
He was shocked and said "Pedophile?! That's a mighty big word for an 11 year old"
His Girlfriend just broke up with him.
After a long day at work he comes home to find more bad news. He walks in on his girlfriend packing her stuff in a backpack.
He asks "Honey I had a bad day at work please don't leave me"
She replies "You don't think I would have found out would you? People are telling me that you're a sick pedophile"
He angrily replies "OHHHH Big word coming from a 12 year old"
edit **thanks ctechastronomy
A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.
As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"
A man comes home to find his wife ready to leave,
, packing her bags.
He asks, "What happened honey? Where are you going?"
Wife replies, "I am leaving you, I know you are a pedophile."
Man exclaims, "Wow! 'Pedophile', that's a big word for an 8 year old."
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
Going to Vegas
A man comes home from work to find his wife packing her things. "What are you doing?" he asks.
His wife replies, "I'm leaving you and moving to Las Vegas. I hear that men will pay me $500 to do to them what I do to you for free."
The man says nothing, walks over to the closet, grabs his suitcase and begins packing his things.
"What do you think you're doing?" his wife asks.
The man replies, "I'm going to Vegas. I want to see how you're going to live off of $500 a year."
A man comes home to find his girlfriend packing her suitcase.
"What's going on baby?"
"I'm leaving you!"
"Why?"
"I just found out you're a pedophile!"
"A pedophile??? Well that's an awfully big word for a fourteen year old."
Marriage, the real story
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
You can explore packing packin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean packing unpack dad jokes. There are also packing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man comes home to find his wife packing...
He says "Hunny, what are you doing"
"I'm leaving you and going to Vegas!"
"Why?"
"I heard you can make $400 a blow job out there!"
The husband starts packing and his wife asks, "What are you doing?"
"I'm coming with you! I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"
NSFW What's the difference between sex and lunch?
Depends on where you put the cucumber.
Worked in a fruit and veg shop, guy stopped me packing cucumbers to tell me that.
A guy comes home to find his girlfriend packing her stuff...
He says "What's wrong? Are you leaving me?"
She says "That's right! My therapist finally convinced me that you're a pedophile."
He says "Pedophile huh? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year old."
What is the quietest place on Earth?
The complaint department at a parachute packing company.
To much precaution...
Two security guards obtained me at the airport after they opened my luggage and found some IcyHot patches, they said: I was packing heat.
A man comes homes and sees his girlfriend packing...
"What are you doing?" He asks
"I'm leaving you"
"But why"
"Because you're a pedophile"
"Pedophile?... big word for an 11 year old"
I'm a Polish student in the UK
Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought...
Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum;
I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing...
Guy wins lottery, comes home
"Honey, I won the lottery, I'm a millionaire, come on, start packing!"
"That's awesome dear, where are we going?"
"What do you mean *we?*"
I came home one day and my girlfriend was packing her bags.
I asked her what was going on, and she says through her tears, "You're a pedophile!"
I responded: "That's an awfully big word for a 6 year-old."
Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery?
Wife: I'd take half and leave.
Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.
I came home to my girlfriend packing her bags.
What are you doing?
-I'm leaving you. I heard you're a pedophile!
That's a pretty big word for a seven year old.
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going.
"To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free."
The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked.
"I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory?
You could say he was poached
EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.
After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from Frank Gaybeau's cocaine induced, hotel filled, 5 figure by the hour escort stuffed full on satanic orgy fest.
What's the worst part of working at a meat packing plant?
It's a total sausage fest.
Iron was talking to his good friend Aluminum...
About his girlfriend Oxide. Aluminum told Iron that he should just dump her. "You don't need that kind of negativity in your life", he said. So Iron took his advice and sent Oxide packing, but Aluminum swooped in immediately after and started seeing Oxide himself.
Needless to say, things got a little heated and Iron had a total meltdown.
My dad just told me I was adopted
I'm packing my stuff right now, he told me they would be here in 2 hours.
I was packing my luggage with German sausage, when my wife told me, "Don't overfill it. Last time it exploded in the airport and you caused a scene".
"Dont be silly", I said, "you're always thinking of the wurst case scenario".
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase
He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I'm off to New York City. I read that prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
"Where are you going?" she asks
"I'm coming with you. I want to see how you live on $800 a year"
/u/username hates the hotel he is staying in and starts packing his stuff.
Username checks out.
A man walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"I'm off to New York," she replies. "I hear prostitutes get paid $400 doing what I do to you for free."
The husband begins packing his bags.
"What are you doing?" asked the wife.
"I'm coming with you," he said. "I wanna see how you live off $800 a year."
A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...
"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"
"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".
After 10 Years man come to home and find his wife
A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $2,000 a year!"
A guy goes into a grocery store.
He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper:
"What are those?"
"Those are potatoes"
"Can I have a kilo of potatoes individually wrapped?"
The store keeper shakes his head and start wrapping potatoes.
"What are those?"
"Those are plums..."
"Can I have a kilogram of plums all individually wrapped?"
The store keeper cusses under his breath and starts packing plums.
"... and what are those?!
"Those are poppy seeds and they are NOT for sale!"
Father looks hard at his teenage son and says, James, you've been adopted.
James jumps up, Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents! Father laughs, No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your adoptive ones will be here in an hour.
I don't understand women...
One word out of place, just ONE word, and she's packing her bloody bags.
She asked me why I take my wedding ring off before sex. I just shrugged and said "Habit".
Go to your mother
Wife is busy packing clothes.
Hubby: Where are you going?
Wife: To my mother.
Hubby also starts packing clothes.
Wife: And where do you think you are going?
Hubby: I'm also going to my mother.
Wife: What about the kids?
Hubby: Since you are going to your mother and I'm also going to my mother, the kids should also go to their mother.
Light bulb
Paddy and John are working on a building site. Paddy says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
Paddy climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, Paddy go home, you've gone mad!
As Paddy packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory.
The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
A married couple is fighting
A married couple is fighting when the wife says, I don't want you in this house anymore, pack your shit and get out. Husband starts packing as the wife is still nagging him. The husband opens the door to leave and just as he is walking out the wife says, I hope you die a slow and painful death you son of a bitch . The husband stops and says, I don't understand, do you want me to stay
Daddy's gonna eat your fingers.
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this", and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
Lottery winner
Man comes home from work yelling honey honey I just won the lottery pack your bags.
Wife yells down what am I packing for the beach, the mountains, a cruise.
He yells back up. I don't care just get the hell out
I was sacked from a packing factory.
I had a big roll of bubble wrap and I said to the foreman "Boss, what shall I do with this?" He said "Just pop it over there in the corner". Took me all bloody day.
Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy, I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts, I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. You've gone mad.
So Paddy leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where do you think you're going? asks the foreman.
Well, I can't work in the friggin dark! said Murphy.
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Source: https://jokojokes.com/packing-jokes.html
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